What Are You Not Saying?

Lately I have been thinking about the difference between the things we freely say and the things we choose not to.

Usually, the things you choose not to say are the ones that are most important. Maybe there is more at stake. Maybe you have concerns about what comes after you've said what you need to say.

This note is not about encouraging you to rip the band-aid off and say it all.

But it IS about acknowledging to yourself what you feel or know and are not expressing.

It is about asking yourself very intentionally, what am I not saying?

What am I not saying to my partner?

What am I not saying to my parents?

What am I not saying to my friends?

What am I not saying at work?

And most important of all, what am I not saying to myself? 

Another way to ask it is, what am I personally avoiding that I know to be true?

Maybe you're not saying what bothers you, but it doesn't make you feel any less bothered (perhaps it actually makes you feel more so!).

Maybe you're not saying no to things when you want to, but are bringing “no energy" to whatever you said yes to anyway.

Maybe you're not saying something that could be hurtful, but that also might be helpful.

The fact is, whatever you are not yet saying is still true for you.

You hold it, you carry it, you just haven't SAID it yet.

And there is a weight to that.

Now, there is a time and place for everything. Of course we want to consider others, and consider the potential repercussions of sharing what is true for us with others.

But let's commit to always acknowledging them to ourselves.

This way we are honouring our own feelings, even if we aren't ready to release them into the world yet. Even if some never will be.

Create a safe haven within to feel what you need to feel without any judgement. 

Write down what it is you aren't yet saying.

When you acknowledge it to yourself, you honour yourself. From there, what to do or say next and when, will become more clear.

With love,

Kena ❤️
Kena Paranjape, Founder, All You Are